I thought I had some insight into the phenomenon crudely alluded to with this phrase, but maybe I should think some more.
Because of the evolution of public opinion about homosexuality (not by any measure uniformly positive, in case you were wondering), it's a lot easier for a woman to discover that she prefers to associate with women than with men in this century, than it was 20 years ago.
It is quite a step from there for a girl to arrive at the conclusion that she would prefer to pursue a romantic relationship with another woman than with a man. (This isn't made any easier by the fact that the culture of young men and boys still leads them to behave in crude ways. Girls wonder---I certainly did---whether the fact that boys behaved like assholes was what was putting me off, or the fact that I'd rather be Touched by another woman than by A man. As I grew older, my tolerance increased; I could give a boorish young man a second chance, and a third chance, but I began to feel that it was a waste of time. I was the bigger problem, and not they.
All this takes time. And when that blessed day comes when you realize that you can relate to most girls a lot better than to most guys, it is soon followed by an even more blessed day on which you encounter a girl who looks at you in a special way.
I can easily imagine the sort of desperation that takes hold off a queer woman when she meets someone who could be special. I have, but I've never had the courage to take the first step, though I have wanted to do so very, very much. I can't provide more details without endangering my anonymity, but it is a sort of desperate relief, like a drowning woman, I can imagine that the instinct to capture that welcome prospect, and bind to her with bands of steel is irresistible.
But I could be confusing my own feelings for universal lesbian instincts, and we must be careful. But what's to be done? Maybe life is too short to be waffling about whether you've found your soulmate.
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