Perhaps I should have taken Marketing Instead

This Blog was intended for me to write about writing, and, of course, girls.  But it's getting impossible to ignore the bigger picture out there.

Let's not talk about me, for a moment; the big thing I notice is how my students really struggle with everything: classes, choosing courses, focusing on their schoolwork, dealing with their parents, and fear of graduating.  Some of them are actually unhappy about visits from their families, and the seniors —whom I don't teach, actually; I usually teach underclassmen, though I help some senior friends informally— actually regarded their impending graduations with dread.

Graduation is over, now; we're looking at the new year, and freshmen —the gender-neutral word is "frosh", which I find perfectly dreadful— are coming on campus.  I have little or nothing to do with freshmen at this stage; I will certainly meet them in class soon enough.  But I'm now brave enough to hang around the lounges during orientation, and occasionally get talked to by parents, and some freshmen —OK, frosh, then— themselves.  Of course, some of the girls are just beautiful, but I know that if they take their looks too much to heart, they're going to be very unattractive as people very soon.  I was an attractive kid, I know now; the people who took note of me then I learned to despise, as soon as I got sophisticated enough to be able to understand how they thought.

Getting ready for life, when I was just out of high school, was very easy for me: I would go to college, and then to grad school, and train to be a college professor.  Some of the other kids who graduated with me wanted to capitalize on their looks, and became flight attendants, or secretaries, or salesgirls, or got into advertising, or became actresses, or reporters; they had to artificially beef up their personalities (well, some of them had pretty big personalities already, I have to admit), put on makeup, dress fashionably, suck money out of their parents, and went out there to do their thing.  (I didn't put on serious makeup until I was thirty, and put on a little lip color before I went in front of my first class.  These days, I've graduated to doing a little more with my face, but nothing beyond lip color, eyebrow pencil, and a soupçon of eye makeup.  Just a tad.)

These days, especially with guys, things are different.  I guess things were always different with guys; I just never paid any attention to them when I was younger.  My eyes were always on the girls and the women; they were just more interesting, the ones who were interesting at all.  The others I just ignored, or despised.  As I got older, I despise fewer and fewer people, and I have some insight even into the minds of boys and men.  The lines are blurring, and I don't think it's entirely subjective.  I think guys are beginning to think a little more like women, all of them, except for a few rednecks (or maybe a whole lot of rednecks; thank the universe I don't encounter rednecks in great numbers), and the rednecks on campus are just redneck wannabees.  They wear their necks like a uniform; it is something they have to put on in the morning, just like girls put on their faces.  The more vulnerable they feel, the louder they rev their motors as they drive off.  It's all an act.  Mostly.

But kids have no idea what courses to take.  The brighter ones are constantly second-guessing themselves even when they're in class: is this class a total waste of time?  Perhaps I should have taken Marketing instead.

One thing is certain:  You have to learn to write properly in college, and you have to learn to talk properly.  For all the million purposes your future employers want to put you, and for which they want you to be a college graduate (you would think that they want a college education, but you would probably be wrong), being able to write well—Okay, moderately well—and to speak well: those are the most important.  There is a good possibility that your employer might not be able to tell the difference, but don't take the risk.

What should you put on your bucket list for your college experience?  Make no mistake, college is an experience, though it could be used as a sort of boot camp.

Basic reading, writing, and being able to use a calculator.  Any high-school grad should have these skills, but the environment of high school is too fraught with silliness—on the part of the students, the teachers, and the parents—to make this very likely.  When I graduated from high school, I could write better than most college grads of today.  And I went to a very poor basic rural neighborhood high school, nothing special.

Use a computer, and use Word (or Open Office, or whatever), use a printer, use e-mail, use a browser, and maybe make a web page using HTML —you know, the usual italics and bold tags, nothing fancy.  Maybe a hyperlink or two.

Good interpersonal skills.  Listen to someone with interest; be able to keep up your end of a conversation with intelligence; be able to chat to a big shot without being too obsequious.  Be polite even to someone who is obnoxious.  (I sometimes fail at this; I was pulled up for snapping at a student.  That was the first and last time.)

Specialize in something.  But this something need not be what your job is in.  You could be a small time office manager in a car-repair shop, but your degree might be in music.  Ignorant people always assume that you have to get a job in your major.  They're surprised that a music major can write, or that an art major can do math.  It's too complicated (and sort of old news, actually) as to why it's important to specialize in something, but trust me: it's important.  Given that, you must not specialize in that something to the degree that you don't know anything else.  That's the big mistake people sometimes make: college kids are too specialized.  No; unfortunately, they're sometimes not specialized at all.  Shh, it'll be our little secret.

Good speaking skills.  This means that you can present some idea efficiently and effectively to a gathering, that's all.  Oratory is not needed.  You must be able to prepare, and give, a presentation on some assigned topic.  If you've never done it, you will never have any idea as to what is required.  You should not depend on PowerPoint.  You should be able to use any equipment that is available.  If complicated visuals are essential, well, that's different.  But a small presentation should be well within the capabilities of a college graduate.  This means that you can teach if you have to, or if you would like to.

Have an appreciation for people significantly different from yourself, and the people you grew up with.  A job could require you to relate to people from other states and countries, other religions, other sexual preferences, and other economic conditions than yourself.  This is why most colleges insist on their graduates learning a foreign language,

Have an appreciation for art, music, dance, theatre, and literature.  You have to talk to people about what they're interested in, and it helps if you happen to be interested in those things too.  In addition, the Arts help you relate to the world, which is a more important thing that people will tell you.

Above all, be willing to do any work that's necessary.  I have no respect for people who consider themselves above necessary work.

Now, it comes down to these big questions:

(1) Should I go to a big expensive college, or go to a community college, or go to a professional school?

(2) Should I do a major in a subject I like, or in something like Business, to get a job, or like education, to become a teacher?

(3) Should I only do my major, and the degree requirements, or should I do courses just for fun, as well?

Frankly, I don't know.  When I went to college, these were not important issues —for me.  We were a poor family, but our thinking was big, because my mother had a middle-class upbringing, and my dad had many middle class friends, though he himself was from a working-class family.  In fact, many of our friends were college professors, because we lived in a university town, and both my parents were adjunct (part-time) college professors.

I would certainly have gone to college, though I could only afford a middle-level college, and I got a lot of scholarships.  But for today's kids: I just don't know.  This is a very different world from that into which I was disgorged after college, or even when I was home for the summer.  It makes me mad that kids have to choose, because that's almost like selecting their social class soon after high school.  Never mind that some of the richest people today belong, as far as I'm concerned, in a very low social class, lacking the cultural education that qualifies them to be true citizens.

If you choose to go to college, I would say: postpone choosing a major as long as you can.  The typical high school graduate—and this might not be you—has no inkling about what there is within any subject at all.  You should have found out in high school, but in the world we have now, you will probably find out—if you're lucky—in college.  By Junior Year, you will have reliable opinions about what subjects and disciplines are interesting to you, and then choose something interesting, which is my answer to (2).  Like I said, what you choose should not have huge implications for your job.  But hiring and firing has now been outsourced to so-called "Human Resources Experts", who seem to select people for jobs based on criteria that I certainly would not use.  Because of how unreliable college education is becoming (on top of the unreliability of high school education), businesses should administer a test to their hires before signing their contracts, or they should hire for a probationary period.  So, if you expect to work for an idiot who thinks that if you're going to work for a business, you need a Business degree, I suppose you should do a business degree.  That will pretty much doom you to working for idiots for much of your life, because Business majors have a bad reputation.  In fact, up to a few years ago many MBA programs did not even accept Business majors.  But it may be that things are different, because Business Schools have strong Business lobbies, which endow Business Departments in small colleges, and they push for businesses to hire their Business alumni.

By now, you should know that the answer to (3) is: take courses for fun, too.  You should certainly take courses that will make you a useful employee, e.g. using a database program, or how to use a spreadsheet, or how to create a webpage, or conversational Chinese.  I never did these things, and I am just amazingly lucky—so far—that I haven't had to work outside my expertise.  My background is in music, religion and history (go figure), but I teach writing, and luckily, that's sort of within my competency, because I did a post-graduate course in teaching writing.  Still, I took other courses for fun: computer programming (yes, it was a lot of fun, but computers have gone beyond my comfort zone), piano (which is still useful), and art.  I had to teach myself Spreadsheets, and I still don't know Database Systems, and I learned Web Programming in college, as an enrichment course.

Kay

Swimsuits and Pretty Girls!

Okay.  This situation is totally getting out of hand.  The price I'm paying for clicking on that ad on facebook is that I see nothing but swimsuit ads everywhere I go.  If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.  Here are some of the cutest outfits I have encountered.

This is one of my favorites, though I probably don't have the legs for it.  And I love this model; she has a lovely smile!

Another pretty dress, but an even prettier model.  Can you tell I like long hair?  Streaky, medium-brown, sunbleached is my favorite, I think.

It's the same model, looking like a teenager, which is probably what she is.  I love the sandals, but she seems just a little too thin for my tastes.

I think this young lady looks lovely, but I don't know whether I approve of the style of the bodice.  I know it's now a mainstream design, but ...

Our model doesn't look quite as startlingly thin here.  I love the rear view very much, especially her grave expression when seen from the rear.

I think this is the same person, modelling a really pretty swimsuit.

Another really pretty swimsuit, with a rather cylindrical model.

This young lady looks spectacular from in front, and I also love her face.  Again, a little too thin for my unqualified approval.

And finally, a lovely model, pretty from both angles, and a fabulous suit.

Two more; these dresses really looks like something I would wear.  It appears to be a really light fabric, but I wonder whether you could wear it more than once, just because they dressy enough for an afternoon out, and you know how that goes.

This model is sweet, though those platforms are scary.  Another lovely dress from that island beauty I love so much.  I might wear a dress like that, if I could afford it ...

That's quite enough of that.

K.

New Distractions

Our school is winding down our school year, and my work is mostly over.  I need to work furiously over the summer to get a manuscript ready for Smashwords (Music of the Stars, which I have written about before).

On Facebook I happened to click on an advertisement for a dress, and pretty soon I was sent to the Nordstrom website, and I started looking at various clothes.  I have no hope of ever wearing any of those, because I just don't have the figure for them.  (I used to pretend that I did, but if I ever did, that time has gone!!)  But the models were cute, and so I couldn't resist looking at one dress after another.

From that day on, my Facebook page always has something from some clothing manufacturer.  The models look pretty much the same, and some views of them look so uncannily similar that I suspected that they simply photoshopped their clothes on them.

I just have to tell someone that this model, from this angle, is completely irresistible.  Most of all I love her hair, which is the color I wish my own hair was!

These days, they get young kids of about 17 to model, some of them as young as 15 or 16.  I'm not sure how I feel about that; it seems just a little too exploitative to me.  It encourages them to think of modeling as a career long before they have an opportunity to think of other possibilities.  It is such a temptation to micromanage other people's lives for them, but I suppose it is a parent's right to ruin his or her children's lives, until the kids are adults, at which point, the kids have the right to ruin their own lives, or submit to the ruining plans of their parents.

In conclusion, I would like to place on record that, if I were seventeen again, I would totally wear that swimsuit.  It is called the Mia crocheted one-piece swimsuit by Robin Picone.  Do not tell Robin Picone that I endorsed her blasted swimsuit, or Google will not leave me in peace, for urging me to "monetise" my blog.

Kay

Time for a Little Rant

You probably know that I teach part time.  I want to make it quite clear that I do not consider myself a lot more intelligent than my students.  In fact, not a semester goes by that I don't remark to myself that more than a dozen of my students are clearly brighter than I am, and I secretly wonder whether I come up to their expectations of a professor.  I go into a vague diatribe sometimes about how a professor often sees students pass through her hands who seem to be destined for greatness, based on their insight into language, their ability to see through past the surface of a question to its crux.  They look gratified, but unable to quite see the point of the remarks.

The reason I say this at the outset is that I find it necessary, despite my points above, to point out to my students the most obvious things.  They're great at getting at difficult ideas.  But they totally suck at obvious things.

What is it?  Is it poor observation of the people around them?  Is it a lack of reading?  Is it poor listening skills?  Is it their closeted upbringing?  I don't know.  It could be a little of all of these.

One thing I do know is that all of them, most of the time, do not interact with the ideas and the information they're being given while it's being dispensed to them.  There is the occasional question (with its obvious answer), but for the most part, they sit there passively.  When I ask them, out of class, one-on-one, why they don't seem to be really absorbing the material, they quickly protest that, yes, they are!  But a little probing reveals that they'd rather wait until they're home, and have had a chance to look over their notes.  So in class, they're preoccupied with getting the notes down.

Now, I do not hand out class notes.  So they do have to write down a lot.  My suspicion is that they will not read copious duplicated class notes--I certainly didn't, when I was in college.  So, some of them might be reading their notes at home.  But I suspect that the majority of them do not interact with the material in class, and do not interact with the material at home, except perhaps just before an examination.

The exception are the foreign students.  They do listen attentively in class, even if some of them struggle with the language.  And they usually read all their notes at home, and approach me with questions privately, which is unfortunate, because they always ask the good, meaningful questions.  So, if there is one thing I want to pass along to college students: listen to your teachers.  They should know their stuff, and they love it.  How better to learn it?

K.

A Milestone Approaches: Jane

I just learned that I'm a book away from the 1,200^th copy of Jane being downloaded.  Since more copies of Jane are being downloaded than anything else I have written, I assume that most of you have read it.  (For the rest of you: it is the story of a girl who drops out of college with her boyfriend, only to find him discovering that he is gay.  She moves into an apartment in NYC, and takes up glamour photography, with the help of her former boyfriend.  After a while, she, too, realizes that she is attracted to women.)

At this time, I merely want to thank my readers for downloading Jane in such numbers.  If only those 1200 readers would go on to read my other stories!

Anyway, I wish you all a happy spring!  Keep reading, and treat you neighbors and your world with kindness.

Love,

Kay.

Emily

I recently lost a very beloved friend.  She was the youngest of a family of three.  She was talented, musically and academically, but without the financial resources to take on a college education, like so many others in that position, she decided to pursue professional training as a nurse.  But her true love was music: she played guitar, and was constantly experimenting for new sounds she could make on her awesome Washburn.  But she was a chronic asthmatic, and a smoker, and I believe the smoking aggravated the asthma, and a few days ago, she had a massive attack, and died before the ambulance could reach the hospital.

Everyone who knew her was stunned; especially because she was so young; not very much past the age of twenty.  She had a mischievous sense of humor, and loved animals, and had several pets.  She loved to travel, but could not really afford to get out of her hometown very much, but greatly enjoyed every sortie outside the confines of her usual round.  When someone elderly passes away, we're not so stunned as relieved; their time has come.  But for this child, her death seems very much as if she was stolen from us, a mean theft.

In the story about Emily, which I began to describe some months ago, I had a death early in the story.  Emily's divorced husband takes ill, and comes back to her, and she takes him in.  He dies, and I describe my feelings about death there.  It is a bit of writing that is dear to me; I'm sure greater writers have conveyed those same feelings a lot more successfully, but this piece is mine, and I want to present it here, in memory of my little songbird, whom I miss very much, and it has hardly been a few days.  To everyone who feels cheated of enjoying a reasonable amount of time with someone we love: I hope this piece helps.

I will put it up as a document, and link to it once it is ready,

Kay

Getting Clever About Readers: Coupons!

To summarize, I have published stories in Smashwords, one of which —Jane— is free.  I have sold a total of 8 books in my lifetime, all on Smashwords, and, let’s see: 866 copies of Jane have been downloaded, and a total of 6 books from all the other titles.  In other words, Jane is “selling” like crazy, and the others are not selling like crazy.

I don’t really worry about this, except that I’m not sure that all those millions who download Jane are actually reading it.  So I have decided to put a coupon at the end of Jane, offering 33% off Helen at Ballet Camp.  If I see a surge in Ballet sales, I can reasonably conclude that people are actually reading the free book Jane.

The next thing to do is to offer another coupon for another book, perhaps offering 90% off, to see whether there are those who will actually read a free book, in contrast to those who will download a free book, but not actually read it!  That seems like a mean trick, but I have to know!!  Are people just downloading the book, or are they also reading it?

While I’m at it, here’s a coupon for anyone who’s reading this!  It is for half off Sweet Hurricane, an important episode in the Helen saga in which I have succeeded in introducing some wonderful characters, and in which I might have made some horrible mistakes.  Still, Matt and Marissa are favorite characters of mine, even if they’re awkward.  You enter this code at checkout time.  I hope it works, or you’re stuck with a $2:00 purchase:  ZY24R

Kay